Zowie’s Story

What is your story?

My story?

I was not born into your typical family of middle class, my mother was a heroin addict and my father wasn’t around and I have one sister who is ten years older than me. I was born in a very small town called Moe in Gippsland Victoria. We moved when I was a toddler to Fitzroy in Melbourne and from then on we lived in a skyrise commission block living to survive and that was it. For those who are from the USA you would refer to these buildings as the projects and this is what I called home for what felt like an eternity.

My community was immersed in poverty, crime, domestic violence, prostitution, addiction and grief. A place where at least one or more family members had done a substantial amount of prison time for crimes that were only committed in order to keep the family fed. Home invasions, raids and police attendance was considered the norm. Growing up we saw things that no child should ever see. Before I had even reached my fifth birthday I had already experienced sexual assault, neglect, the daily visit from our beautiful neighbor with her face black and blue from her so called loving husband, a murder committed in our playground over a family court dispute. If you could ever imagine hell on earth, this unit was it.

I had a lot of awareness around addiction and mental health from a very young age. I understood the wreckage it created as my mother’s disease and mental health progressed. I could see her struggling more and more each day. As she got worse so did our lives. I was afraid of drugs and alcohol and swore I would NEVER touch them and that I would never become an addict like my mother nor would I live in this hell for the rest of my life. When I was a young teenager I felt different to everyone else, I was already being diagnosed with mental health in which I was told I had ADHD, Bipolar disorder, but I knew deep down it was more than this.

I had my first drink when I was twelve years old and instantly I fell in love. It was almost as though all the pain, all the memories had melted away and suddenly I was free and safe for the first time in my life. I drank for the following two years chasing the first experience, which must I add was never accomplished and by fourteen I was chasing much bigger things like drugs to fill this void.

As the years progressed I quickly became more addicted, more mentally unstable and before I knew it I was celebrating my nineteenth birthday in a strip club where I worked. Full of thousands of people and I had never felt so alone, so broken, and would have given anything for the pain to end. I lived in addiction for seventeen years and in the end I had fourteen recovery attempts. I had lost three of my five children, my marriage ended, my family were left disappointed and disconnected. I had five car accidents and too many counts of overdose and alcohol poising. I was a frequent flyer of psychiatric wards. It all happened and some.

On the 09/22/2018 I woke up and decided enough was enough and I haven’t had a drink, drug or any mind altering substance since this date. I’m not gonna lie, the journey has been one of the hardest things I have ever done, but as each day goes by it gets easier. Today I’m so grateful I chose recovery over death. If my story gives you anything, let it be the proof that you can change the cards you have been dealt. Whilst I will never have the power over my addictions and mental health, I do have the power over my actions and when I look back on my journey I was not prepared to just settle and give up. I took the action of change and I continue to a day at a time.

How has your life changed since becoming sober?

When I walked into recovery I was promised I would get a whole new life, not my old life scrubbed up and this has definitely been the case for me. I’ve been blessed with a life beyond my wildest dreams and have been introduced to my true authentic self. Today I no longer live in that hell and I have gone on to become an advocate for recovery and mental health, a motivational speaker, recovery and life coach. I have been given the gift to be able to share my story with thousands around the world.

What are some of the things you do to maintain your sobriety?

I am not anonymous that I am a member of a 12 step fellowship in which I am a member of a few different kinds. This is how I maintain my recovery daily. I do the work and go to any lengths needed in order to stay clean and sober. I also practice meditation, gratitude and physical exercise such as weightlifting which I find is really important to maintain my spiritual condition.

What does your ideal future look like?

As for @changetosurrender some of my future dreams are already starting to happen, so be sure to follow. Overall I hope to continue what I’m currently doing. Empowering others to take their journey to change and create massive awareness and education around addiction within society. To do a few TED talks would be amazing, who knows anything is possible as long as I stay clean and sober. I know all my goals and dreams will come true because so far they have.

Any advice to those who are struggling?

Yes, it took me 14 different recovery attempts and 11 years of rock bottoms to get to where I am today. I always tell those who are struggling or relapsing, “It doesn’t matter how many attempts you have, what matters is that you don’t give up no matter what, BE THE PHOENIX THAT RISES FROM THE ASHES’’.

Be sure to follow Zowie on Facebook and Instagram as well as the Change to Surrender website to stay up to date will Change to Surrender.

Do you have a story of recovery you would like to share?

Email us at support@werecovergroup.com to learn more